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Lords of Cancer
Lords of Cancer The Lords of Cancer, formerly known as Lords of Cinder, are the result of The Thread corrupting Lothric after Alexander linked the First Autist. An unexpected Journey So, I thought about doing this all formal like a wiki, but then I realised how fucked up our timeline actually is, and how I can't be arsed anymore after spending like an hour writing about Jakeyboy1984. So I'm going to do it my way. So Danny Layton and Alex's fursona from the past, Stannis of House Baratheon set out to link the first Autist which seemed like an easy enough task. All you had to do was cope with Dark Souls' horrific fucking AI and how the majority of enemies can one-hit you through walls and shit. But whatever. They set out as friends do. I mean, they aren't friends, they are worst enemies, but even I can't explain why this happened in the fucking timeline. Probably because Alex's Fursona was born before he was born or something? Yeah lets go with that. Anyway so Vordt of the Boreal Valley made Alex regret he was ever a furry since Vordt pounded him so hard. Danny didn't really struggle on this boss but fuck Danny, right? The two cooperated through many of the bosses because they are both pretty shit at Dark Souls, to the point where they both got killed by a fucking NPC invader in the Cathedral of the Memes. At some point they ended up in St Johns Church and had to slaughter the congregation because Danny wanted a sweet Amiibo one of the Deacons was holding. Eventually, they faced their worse threat yet, in the Catacombs of Chorlton, which is somehow under Paris. Edgelord Wolnir, which I think is Robin Williams, repeatedly fucked up Danny and Alex. But it's fine because they eventually fucked him up good. Soon, though, as Danny always does, except with Charlotte, Danny gave up and became preoccupied with something else. Leaving Alex to take on Nameless King, Dragonslayer Armour, and Champion Gundyr alone. Not to mention the fucking Incest Princes which can literally revive eachother you fucking idiot Danny. Imagine a Deidara-Spammer with Madara's fucking Chakra levels that can teleport like Shisui and also returns by death like Subaru from RE: Zero. That's those fucking bosses. But don't worry you cunt, I still did it by myself. Anyway, so Alex fought the final boss, which, again has two lives by the way, just incase it wasn't hard enough. He then accidentally linked the first Autist and got really mad because he actually wanted the Lord of Normies ending, but whatever. The Desolation of Ben So eventually Jay Carroll and Ben Croft got Dark Souls III, thank the Lord. And within like 2 days, Jay had already gotten further than Danny, because Danny is an undedicated little shit. Anyway, Ben remembered he was indeed, shit, at Dark Souls. And repeatedly died to the easiest boss in the game. I swear that little shit changed the difficulty or something. When 3 phantoms are hammering the shit out of Crystal Sage and she doesn't take damage I begin to question this stuff. Alex was determined to help Ben become a Lord of Cancer, and Jay too, although Jay didn't want this because he said it was too politically incorrect. What an Edgelord right? Eventually, Ben too encountered the Edgelord Robin Williams himself in the Catacombs of Chorlton. But this time, Danny/Alex since Danny called himself Alex? Also Ben is Danny... And Alex is Stannis, fucking hell this is so cancerous. Anyway, Danny remarked as he crossed the rope bridge: Clearly not over the events of the first encounter with High Lord Edgelord. Anyway, Ben is literally trash at this fucking game. I mean it, he's shitter than he is at Rocket League, and thats saying something. It took him, Alex, and Stannis, about 20 tries to kill him. As it stands, neither Ben or Danny have become a Lord of Cancer. Category:Lore